The Lexicon Of Love
by SugarApple
Summary: Beastboy pulled at his collar, "HUH?" "That's right my man, "Kid Flash grinned, "You wanna bag that gorgeous goddess don't ya?" "Yea-er no! I mean no!" Speedy smacked him on the back, "Say no more B-Boy, the lexicons of love are at your service!"
1. Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

A/N: ….Because I seriously couldn't resist. Seriously. XD

_The Lexicon of Love_

**Summary:** Beastboy pulled at his collar, "HUH?" "That's right my man, "Kid Flash grinned, "You wanna bag that gorgeous goddess don't ya?" "Yea-er no! I mean no!" Speedy smacked him on the back, "Say no more B-Boy, that's what we're here for; the lexicons of love…..are at your service!"

Rating: K+ or T…..maybe T? I'm paranoid.

Genre: Humor/Fluff….if that's even possible.

I do not own Teen Titans, DC comics does; Cartoon Network as well, to an extent. Lol All I own is this retarded idea, LOL.

Pairings: BeastRave, Flinx, Beeborg, Starbin, Speedshire.

* * *

**Chapter 1:** _Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures_

Raven's eyebrow twitched, "What is it _now _Beastboy?"

_Gulp. _"Uh….hehe…"He pulled at his collar nervously, "I uh….can I ask you something?"

She gave him a withering stare, "_What is it?_"

Beastboy cringed, his lips parted and then closed; parted, closed, parted, closed. He looked like a fish out of water, cowering in the shadow of a tigress shark.

Raven rolled her eyes and stood up to go to the kitchen. Beastboy leaned against the kitchen counter and watched her as she headed towards him. He gulped.

"….."

"Uh, yes?"

"Can you move?"

His ears twitched, "Huh?"

Raven's eyes went from him to the tea kettle and he followed, "You're blocking the tea kettle."

"Oh! Erm sorry." Beastboy backed away and regarded Raven as she set about making her tea. She faced him after lighting the stove.

"Yes?"

"Wha?"

"The question Beastboy; what did you want to ask me?"

Raven's eyebrow knotted slightly when the color drained from his face. She nearly drowned in the wave of anxiety barreling off him. _'What's his problem? And why is he shaking?'_

"Er..uh….I was wondering…if um…you would wanna'….uh…..uh…..uh….."

The only response was an eyebrow quirk.

His confidence faded rapidly; sweat gathered on his forehead and he was starting to fry in his uniform. He caught Raven folding her arms and saw her lips press into a thin line.

The last bit of confidence flew the coup.

"YouwannabeSwisscheese?"

"_**What?"**_

Beastboy maneuvered around the counter and backed out of the kitchen, yapping uncontrollably the entire time. "N-Nothin' um….seeyalaterRaebye!" He dashed around the coffee table and fell flat on the floor when he tried to jump over the couch. Robin came through the front door with a box of chocolates and watched Beastboy get up in time to fly through the common doors.

"What was that about?" Robin asked confused.

Raven shrugged, "I have no idea."

The two of them just stood there and looked at eachother.

"What's with the chocolate?"

_Blush._ "What? Oh…uh….just had the taste for it?"

"…..Riiiiight."

ooOOoo

"Stupid!"

Beastboy threw a notebook across his room and kicked a pile of shirts, "Stupid! Stupid! _Stupid! _Dude! Can't believe I totally flailed like that man, so _lame_!"

He threw himself on his bed and pounded the mattress, his legs kicked wildly behind him, "Man Raven's never gonna say yes cuz I'm so frickin' lame. _So_ lame."

Everyday it was always the same.

Beastboy had always had the biggest crush on Raven. Ever since that crazy mess with both Terra and Malchior, Beastboy noticed that he and Raven had a special….connection. It was sort of faint, but he could feel it there and he was determined to make it something more if it killed him. And so, Beastboy had been trying to talk to Raven for _days_, only to get the same result: Flailing on his part and downright rejection. It was almost as if she was ignoring him on purpose or something.

Beastboy groaned and punched his headboard, "Argh,!"

_Zoop!_

"Wha?"

A pair of long-legged pants fell off his headboard and landed on his head with a _plop! _Beastboy scrambled to a sit and yanked the pants off. A piece of paper stuck out from one of the pockets and he snatched it.

"Soooooo what is this?" He flipped the paper over, "A flyer?"

**Tired of your pathetic, non-existent love life? In need of some help to navigate the wild field of romance? Then look no further! Head on down to 'The Lexicon of Love Agency"; the address is below!**

**468 Sunset Boulevard, Ct #9**

**Jump City, OO**

**We guarantee that with our service, you'll be able to bag your guy or girl in no time! So come on down and check us out; we promise you that once we're through you'll definitely get yourself some good time lovin'!**

Beastboy just stared at it, turning it over every 6 seconds. _'What the heck?'_ He held the paper in front of him and flipped it over again; there was a number to the agency in the top corner. A message was scribbled on the bottom but he couldn't read it.

"Man, whoever wrote this has worse handwriting than me, and mine is chicken scratch!"

He plopped back on his pillow and blew through his nose, should he give it a shot? _'This looks so cheesy, I don't know…what if it's a croc like all those fogey commercial ads? Like….the SNUGGY.'_

Beastboy's eyes traveled to the dark purple monstrosity crumpled in his computer chair and he blew through his nose again. It'd been a gift from Starfire, but because he was still sorta short he always tripped in the stupid thing and fell flat on his face.

Much to Raven's amusement of course.

The changeling smirked.

"She digs me, I know she does. I just need to go about this a better way, she'll bend to my charm," Beastboy smiled, "What time d'is place close? 8:00pm? Crap!" He flicked his wrist and darted out of his room.

"Hey BB-whoa! Where you headin' off to in such a hurry?"

"Uh just going out for a run really quick, yea uh….bye!"

Cyborg watched the rapidly fading dust cloud that was once Beastboy, "Ah…o…..kay?"

He punched in the passcode to the doors and bolted out into the fresh air, taking flight as a city-hawk with the flyer firmly in his talons. Beastboy's beady eyes scanned the city below in clear-cut sight and he dipped his head, '_468 Sunset Boulevard, Ct #9…..468 Sunset Boulevard, Ct #9…..Ct#9 ladadaaaaa THERE!'_ He swooped down hurriedly behind the building and landed right on his butt.

"Agh, could've landed better'n that….This it?"

The place in question was a pretty small building. It was sandwiched in-between a grand-scale high-rise complex and a liquor store. _'-snort- Nice.'_ Beastboy trotted around the front and observed the agency with a blank face.

"THIS is the Agency? Looks like some kinda' cheap pawn shop," He blinked at the bland design, "And….there's no sign. Great." He pressed his nose against the glass and peered in curiously. Beastboy was about to tap the window when the door burst open.

"HEY THERE!"

"Dah!"

The stranger chuckled when Beastboy glared at him with a mouthful of concrete, "Didn't mean to scare ya Beastboy!"

Said changeling spit out several disgusting pebbles and jabbed a finger in his chest, "Not funny Kid Flash. Wait, what're you doing here?"

Kid Flash beamed proudly and cocked a thumb behind him, "See that right there? I own that place."

"Wha…..?"

"Correction KF, _we_ own it." Speedy leaned in the doorway and nodded at Beastboy, "Hey B. What're you doing on this side of town man?"

Beastboy stiffened and rubbed the back of his neck ferociously, "Well erm, I uh…."

"Stupid question Speedy," Kid Flash interjected, "The answer's obvious. Ain't that right Beastboy?"

Beastboy's eyes darted from the speedster to the archer, suddenly his voice became lodged in his throat. _'Aw man! This is so wrong, I can't ask them to help me, then the whole stupid society will know. Shoulda' just followed my first mind.'_

He shoved his hands in his pockets and mustered up all the non-chalantness he owned…..which wasn't much. He backed up as he spoke,"No reason, just on patrol ya know? Scoutin' the town, apprehending bad guys….all that jazz?"

"Then what's _this?_" Kid Flash yanked the flyer out of his hands and waved it in front of his face, "Uh-huh, just patrolling eh? Hey Speedy, looks like we've got ourselves another customer."

"What! No you don't; dude! Give that back I….I found it on the street!"

"Sure you did, just like you "found" yourself at our doorstep."

"But I-"

Speedy poked Beastboy in the back with a random arrow and smirked as the green bean whirled around. He raised an eyebrow, "Might as well come out and say it, your love life sucks and you want our help."

Beastboy pointed accusingly at him, "That's not-"

"_AND," _Kid Flash cut in, "Everything you've tried on your own probably failed….miserably. So you came to us!"

At that the changeling's ears drooped, _'How did he know…?'_

"SO," Speedy cracked his knuckles, "Who's the lucky girl you're crushing on BB? Argent? Starfire?"

"Bro if it's Starfire then Robin would light into his a-"

"It's **not **Starfire."

Kid Flash blinked, "Alright. Then who, Jinx? Man if it's Jinx I will _**flay **_your a-"

Beastboy yelped and ducked behind Speedy, "Dude it's not Jinx either!"

The three of them watched each other as silence permeated their spot in front of the agency. The only sounds were distant car horns and Beastboy's shaking knees. Speedy rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest, completely pensive.

"It's not Argent, not Star, not Jinx, probably not even Bumblebee…."

"And Kole and Melvin are like 12, so no…"

They both turned to him, "You don't fancy villainesses do you?"

"Nope."

Kid Flash looked up, "Well….he DID dig Terra."

"Let's not talk about her," Beastboy winced.

"Good point."

The boys remained in their ridiculously stoic stances and tapped their chins. Occasionally, they would circle him, mumble something and then nod in his direction.

They did this for 30 minutes.

"Wait a minute…"

Speedy halted, "No way…."

"Yes way," Kid Flash's eyes widened.

"YOU LIKE RAVEN!"

The changeling felt himself flush with embarrassment. "N-No!" His green cheeks turned a fiery shade of red and he leapt away from them. Speedy and Kid Flash looked from him to one another and snickered maniacally.

"Well, this changes everything!"

Beastboy's mouth went slack, "Um, whadd'you mean?"

"You've got a Class A case here my friend," Kid Flash crooned, "Which means we need to go about this a whole different way. Raven ain't cookie-cutter….she's a hard woman to….._satisfy_."

Beastboy pulled at his collar nervously, "HUH?"

"That's right my man, "Kid Flash grinned, "You wanna bang that gorgeous goddess don't ya?"

"Yea-er no! I mean no!" Beastboy stammered, "I just-"

Speedy smacked him on the back, "Say no more B-Boy, that's what we're here for; the lexicons of love…..are at your service!"

Beastboy looked up at Speedy, who was grinning fiercely, "Uh….why do I feel like something bad's about to happen?"

"Nothing bad my boy," Speedy countered, dragging his legs while Kid Flash gripped his torso, "Just sit back and let the masters of love work their magic. You'll see."

"Yea BB, " Kid Flash added dropping him on the ground unceremoniously, "She'll be eating out of your hands in no time."

Beastboy yelped when his head hit the floor, "Dude! I do have a squishy brain in here you know!" He yelped again when both boys forced him into a black leather chair. The lights inside the agency blew out with a single one hovering over a table. Beastboy whipped his head left and right and sweat dropped.

"Uh…guys?"

Speedy's husky voice curled around his twitching ears in the darkness, "Lesson number one…"

* * *

A/N: PURE CRACK! That is all I have to say. This story is for pure crack!humor and fluff only, it is not meant to be taken seriously. Good grief Speedy and KF have a LOVE agency? Life as we know it….is about to blow up in smoke. –facepalm- Poor BB, he just wants some Raven lovin'. Will KF and Speedy help him get the gold, or will they just screw it all up and make crap worse?

…XD

R&R!


	2. Lesson One: Trial and Error

_A/N: _Wow! O_o I swear the shock never gets old; I can't take all this man, seriously. –sniffs- I'm not crying I'm…..I'm tearbending, yea tearbending!

_**SHOUTOUT TYMEZ!**_

**Lolluv: **Hey girlie! Thanks love; ahem! You continue too!

**SuperGirl:** Lol matchmakin' schemes are ALWAYS fun. XD I'll try to make it good!

**Alltheginjoints:** Lol yes to KF and Speedy being "The Masters of Love"; but knowing them….it's bound to be terrible. What's this about Robin eh? –wriggles eyebrows- XD

**Vanessa:** Thanks V! I hope you continue to find it hilarious!

**AnneSilvefire:** Anne! Hey! Nope, not a one-shot. :)

**BioReck: **Dearest Bio, I thank you. :) I said they were "like 12" just to illustrate how young they were. XD In the cartoon Kole was like…10-12 and yea Melvin is about 7-9. Lol

**FelynxTiger:** Felynx! I got the chars right? Great; Although they might be a tad OC on some parts (which is unintentional). Ah yes, BeastRave makes _everything_ better.

**Sunshine-Midnight123**: -bows- Thank you!

**Annab1119:** Thank you my dear Anna, I hope it does too!

**Merophe:** Lol EXACTLY, what DO they know? XD We shall see! And thank you so much for the compliment!

_(Word in advance, terribly sorry if I missed any SHOUTOUTZ. You know I love you just the same! =D )_

Alright guys, time for part 2! Hope you enjoy it_, The Lexicon of Love_ starts in 3…2…1!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Teen Titans. –cries-

* * *

**Chapter 2:**Lesson One-Trial and Error

"Is it alright for me to say how uncomfortable you guys make me feel right now?" Beastboy whined. Speedy twirled a pen in his hand and jabbed it on the clipboard in that instant. He shot him a glare and earned a nervous _gulp!_

"I guess….not? Heh….heh." Beastboy leaned against the leather chair he was strapped in and strained his neck to look around the room. Despite it's dilapidated outward appearance, the office itself was pretty organized. With bookshelves, sleek ornate desks and hallways that went to God knows where; he had to give it to them, the place was pretty nice.

Save for the annoying _drip! drip!_ coming from the gigantic hole in the ceiling.

_And _the dim lights that kept fizzing in and out everywhere.

_And the_-

"Alright Beastboy, so what's the story on you and Raven? You guys dating?" Kid Flash asked popping up from behind the leather chair. He adjusted his suit tie –_When did he change?-_ and patted down a shoulder on his pinstripe suit.

Beastboy looked at him, "Uh…"

Speedy propped his feet up on the table and tapped the clipboard, "Yea. You guys together?"

"Er…."

" Or is your relationship on the rocks or-"

"_Or,_" Kid Flash grinned, "Having trouble making the beast with two backs?"

Beastboy's ears twitched violently and his face turned red, "What! Dude, _no!_"

Both Speedy and Kid Flash frowned, "You mean the two of you aren't dating?"

"Would I even be here if we were?"

Speedy smacked himself, "This isn't happening."

"What?" Beastboy asked, antsy, "_What?_"

Kid Flash plopped himself in a seat and clasped his hands together. His frown visibly deepened, making Beastboy all the more nervous. He and Speedy mirrored each other with the seriousness and suaveness a businessman would possess. The only sound was Speedy scribbling furiously on his clipboard.

And the _drip! drip!_ from the ceiling.

And the fizzing of the lights going out.

"You guys really need to fix that…."

"Lookit-"

"Dah!"

Speedy rolled his eyes while Beastboy's heart practically jumped in his throat. "Dude! Can you NOT do that, seriously? And when did you get behind me?"

The archer waved his hand. "That's not important. What's important is how horrible your love life is. You and Raven aren't together, which makes you a beginner. That means you really suck, and so we're going to start you over."

Beastboy narrowed his eyes at him, "I take offense to that."

"And you should," Kid Flash crossed his leg, "Raven's like….a goddess. Like Harold and Vernors."

Speedy halted and looked at him, "_Who?"_

Kid Flash blinked, "Harold and Vernors. You know the goddesses from Greek mythology?"

Speedy smacked himself; again, "That's _Hera_ and _Venus._ One's Greek and one's Roman…..retard."

"Same difference you prick; Raven's a goddess, out of your league, don't stand a chance..all that…"

"Thanks." Beastboy muttered through gritted teeth.

But the speedster ignored him, "Without us, she'll chew you up and spit you out. We'll give you the whole shebang; 1 day a week. That'll run you about….300 dollars a session."

Beastboy choked on his own spit, "300 DOLLARS?"

Speedy cleared his throat, "You got a problem with that?"

"YES," Beastboy whined, "That's like….my entire check! All I have on me is 10 bucks and some Pokémon trading cards."

"We'll take it!"Kid Flash snatched the bills and cards out of his hands and returned with a manila folder full of papers.

"Here you are," He fished a pen out of nowhere, "Sign here, annnnd here, and here, oh and here. Over there, right here, leave that blank and….you're done!" He tucked the folder under his arms and shook Beastboy's hand.

"So, erm when do I start?"

"Tomorrow at noon," Kid Flash replied while untying his bindings, "So be here at 12:00pm sharp."

"Right," Beastboy laughed nervously and scrambled for the door, "See you tomorrow then!"

Once Beastboy was out of earshot Kid Flash was bashed promptly upside the head.

"Ow Speedy _what the heck was that for?_"

"Ten dollars and a stack of pokemon cards, _**seriously?**_**" **Speedy hissed through gritted teeth. Kid Flash shuffled his feet and grinned at him sheepishly.

"What? He's got a dark Pikachu…..and a Mew."

Speedy threw his hands in the air, "Just turn off the stupid lights!"

00OOoo

Raven peeked over the top of her book for the fourth time that hour. As much as she would've liked to get deep into the current series of unfortunate events, she found it really hard to do so with a constant distraction.

And that distraction was currently fiddling with his holoring.

"Beastboy, what are you doing?"

"Huh? Oh um, nuthin'." Beastboy's fingers ghosted over the holoring one more time before finally stopping. He turned to Raven and flashed her his trademark grin.

"What'cha' readin' Rae?"

The empath glared at him,_ 'How many times do I have to tell him my name is Ra-VEN?'_ "The Ersatz Elevator. From the Series of Unfortunate Events series."

"You mean that story about a bunch of orphans being chased by some creepy old guy right?"

Raven's eyebrow did a dance, "…Yes Beastboy…..pretty much."

"Oh." He nodded and re-twisted the ring for the fiftieth time that hour, "Sounds cool."

"Yea it's-" Raven narrowed her eyes at him, "What are you _doing_?"

Beastboy glanced at the wall clock and jumped out of his seat, "Gotta go bye!"

"Uh….see ya?"

"Alright, he'll be here in 3….2…..1….."

The door to the agency flew open and coughed up a flying green blur; Kid Flash raced over and grabbed a chair as the door shut. Speedy snatched the squawking green parakeet out of the air and slammed it down in a seat. Beastboy morphed and glared at him with wild eyes.

"What was that for?"

"You're late. Bring your ring?"

"It's only 2 past twelve! And yea, why do I need it anyway?"

The archer gave him a pointed glare and the changeling promptly shut his trap. Kid Flash disappeared down a hallway and returned with a portable marker board. He set it up in the middle of the room and handed one of the pointer sticks to Speedy.

"Good morning class and welcome-"

"Dude…I'm the only one here."

"_Welcome_ to Unit 1 of the semester. In this class you will be instructed in the ways to a woman's heart and learn the fine art of True Gentlemen to the point of perfection. Our course will turn you from the snot-nosed sniveling loser-"

Beastboy's ears drooped, "I'm not a loser!"

"-you are and into a suave, debonair ladies' man. With that being said, we'll begin with the first segment." Speedy nodded at Kid Flash and the speedster stepped outside of the agency. He motioned for them to follow and, after looking confused for a minute Beastboy finally got up and turned his civvies on to follow suit. They crossed into a busier part of the city and stopped in the restaurant and shopping district.

"First lesson is all about approach B-boy. Chicks dig it when a guy is confident in what he wants and shows it. See those girls right there?" Kid Flash pointed to a small group of about 2 blondes, a red head and one brunette. One of the blondes stepped out of the small circle and started walking in their general direction; Beastboy's ear twitched.

"Yea."

Kid Flash grinned and pushed him forward, "Go talk to her!"

Beastboy stumbled forward, "Hi-dah!" His foot caught itself in the sewer grate between them and he fell flat on his face. The blonde in question gave him a weird look and kept walking.

Speedy slid out from his spot behind a corner and stood over him, "You okay kid?"

"Just great."

Speedy hoisted him up off of the ground and spun him in the direction of another girl. She was currently leaning against the bus stop sign idly chewing on a piece of gum. Her hair was a chocolate brown and her eyes, from Beastboy's standpoint, were a stormy grey. "Let's try it again. Try that girl."

Beastboy swallowed nervously and, after fixing the collar of his shirt, stuck his chest out proudly and stalked over. His pace was abnormal and made him close the distance between them sooner than he expected.

The girl rounded on him, "Can I help you?"

He stopped in his tracks, "Uh….um…I….uh….."

A bus turned a corner and started down the street. The girl shifted from one foot to the other and watched him warily; the more he stuttered the higher her eyebrow went until it disappeared into her hairline.

"Yes?"

"Um…uh…hey?" Beastboy grinned slyly….and creepily.

"Er…yea." The bus pulled up at the stop and she ran up the steps before he could say anything else. It pulled off leaving Beastboy pretty much dejected.

'_Well this sucks.'_

"Well that sucked." Kid Flash clapped a hand on his shoulder, "I mean no that _really_ sucked."

"Gee thanks." Beastboy mumbled, shirking his hand off, "Can I quit now?"

"Nope!" The speedster said, "This was just an exercise to see how you fare. And boy did you bomb."

"Okay can we NOT focus on how bad I am and work on building up my confidence instead?" The changeling whined. He folded his arms across his chest and jutted his bottom lip out. Kid Flash snickered and shook his head, _'We gotta long way to go._'

"That's the problem," Speedy said, "But we won't talk about it here, let's get back to the office."

ooOOoo

"The problem is that you lack confidence. And I mean, severely."

"Dude, I think we established this already. And that's a bad thing because?"

"Because when you have zero confidence girls can smell it all over you. They're like vultures that way, they'll eat you alive."

"Plus," Speedy added, "No woman likes a man without a backbone."

Beastboy stiffened, "I have a backbone!"

"Sure you do."

"Anyway, let's roll the tape and see you in action." Kid Flash turned the tape on and they began to watch the embarrassment of an exercise. When he saw himself trip, Beastboy slumped in his seat. By the time they reached the part where the girl ran away from him on the bus he was practically on the floor.

"Time!" Speedy chirped, "Now, what did you do wrong?"

Beastboy climbed into the chair, "I choked a lot."

Speedy nodded, "Yep. And you-"

"Oh! Oh! I know!"

"_Yes _Wally?"

"He gave that girl a creepy grin."

"What! That was my signature smexy smirk! Chicks _love_ that."

"…..Seriously? I thought you had bad gas or something. The grin was creepy Beastboy, really."

Speedy noticed the younger boy's ears drooping and he glanced at Kid Flash. Sighing, he motioned for Beastboy to take a seat and then rolled down a chalkboard.

"I'm gonna…..I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that there's a reason why you….don't have much confidence."

Beastboy regarded him for an eternity before drawing out a slow, "Yea."

Speedy took a seat on a stool and his partner in crime followed suit. They stared at him tentatively before Speedy pressed on carefully. "Care to share?"

"Well in case you haven't noticed," Beastboy said, "I'm green. Not a pale green but pretty much forest fricking green. I've got elf ears, a snaggle tooth, and my arms 'n' legs are all….gangly. And my voice cracks." He folded his arms around himself and averted his eyes; this was something he didn't really like to talk about much. The topic was uncomfortable and if it were up to him, Beastboy would rather just forget about it. At this point he was feeling incredibly vulnerable and why he was sharing this with Speedy and Kid Flash he didn't even know.

Nor did he care.

A shrill squeaking sound pricked his ears and they twitched; he looked up just in time to see both his "instructors" scribbling away on the chalkboard. One side listed everything he hated about himself while the other was blank.

"I think you gave us the underlying issue BB, and now we're going to fix it. You're not the only one who goes through this, believe me."

"Really?"

"Yep!" Kid Flash piped and hopped into his seat, "Take me for example. I'm super fast, charismatic….ladies love me, all that jazz."

Speedy ground his teeth, "_Not helping._"

Kid Flash cleared his throat, "Right, right. But, sometimes nobody takes me seriously. I guess it's because I do dumb stuff and joke around a lot. Like, Batman's always glaring at me and the JL just shake their heads; Sometimes I wish I had a different power or had dark hair."

Beastboy laughed a little, "Yea I get what you mean_._"

"And then me; I'm awesome when it comes to archery and I'm pretty strategic. But everybody's either always comparing me to Robin or Green Arrow and it drives me nuts! I don't like being under peoples' shadows. The names the public gives me….not. cool."

"So instead of focusing on what you don't like, think about all the stuff that makes you cool." Kid Flash bounced over to the chalkboard and zipped a piece of chalk to Beastboy. Beastboy sauntered over and stood in front of the blank side of the board, his height dwarfed by its massive size. He frowned. _'Eh! What makes me cool?'_

A moment later a grin knifed his lips, "Pffft let's see. I'ma shape shifter, my cooking skills are out of this world, I'm funny (he purposefully ignored the random snort from behind him), fun-loving, compassionate, I always put other people first and….I gotta lot of integrity." He wrote down a few other things and when he felt he ran out, back-pedaled and peered at the board.

He felt two hands on his back, "See? All the great stuff pretty much left the negative in the dust."

"Yea you're right…I'm pretty awesome!"

"The trick is to focus on your good qualities. That's what's important; if Raven's the right girl then she won't care about you being green with a pointy tooth, she'll love you for you. Plus the puberty stuff will go away before you know it."

"But," Kid Flash commented good-naturedly, "Methinks you already knew that."

Beastboy blinked at the board and smiled slightly, _'There's hope for you yet Gar, there's hope for you yet.'_

Speedy rolled the chalkboard away and sent the tv screen back into the room ceiling. Beastboy had to force himself not to wonder where the heck they were getting all of this funding from, because that type of technology could _not_ come from random clientele alone.

Unless some of them were big shots…..

"Is there anything else I need to know though? Like, anything major before you guys kick me out?"

"Well," Speedy stroked his chin dramatically, "We don't usually skip ahead so no. Just work on your confidence around Raven."

Beastboy's mouth went slack, "I'm not sure I follow you."

The archer regarded him, "She's an empath man, meaning she can practically see your spine flinch when you walk by her. Just focus on remaining cool and collected and…."

"And droppin' a Hello!"

"What KF said."

"Don't sweat it Beastie-boy, we'll be doing this exercise for a week before we move on to the heavy stuff. Unfortunately your appointment is over and we're gonna' kick you out now."

Speedy ushered the younger super hero to a door at the opposite end of the hallway and led him outside. Beastboy turned around after two steps, "Um…this wasn't the door I went out of before."

"Got a client coming in," Speedy replied casually, "Out."

"But~" Beastboy held up a finger.

"We keep our customers and their business in confidence; I'm not telling you who it is. Now out." He pushed him out into a quiet side street and closed the door. The changeling blew through his nose and scratched the back of his head.

"Wonder who it is though….."

Rounding a quiet corner and making sure that no one was looking, Beastboy disengaged his disguise and took off for the tower. The impromptu list that Speedy had scrawled down for him was secured in his talons.

'_It's time to get down to business.'_

* * *

_A/N:_ And CUT! Extremely long wait for a worthless chapter, but it needed to be done. KF and Speedy even explained why. Gotta love that lil' archer and speedster, they're so adorkable! =D This concludes part 2 and the beginning of Beastboy becoming a smexy animal! You guys know this is supposed to go in no particular direction whatsoever right? –gets kidnapped by the Plot Bunny-

**Beastboy**: That's right! Garfield's bringin' sexy back!

**Starfire:** -giggles-

**Raven:** -rolls eyes- Sure you are Beastboy, sure you are.

**Beastboy:** Oh Rae you know you love it. –wriggles eyebrows-

**Raven:** …..-hides blush-

**Cyborg:** Alright ya'll, that wraps it up, check ya next time!

**Starfire:** Yes friends, please….do not hesitate to return for the 3rd act! Mustard for everyone! =D


End file.
